The Terminator

Arnie stars in this amazingly timeless movie where there are no eighties influences whatsoever.

Two naked blokes arrive in L.A. to kill all Sarah Connors that they can find. Arnie is winning 3-0 when the other naked bloke gives up and then starts a new game "how many Sarah Connors can I shag". He wins this game 1-0 as Arnie is actually a robot and has no willy. It all ends happily with one of the sarah connors surviving and the two naked blokes being brutally murdered.

LETHAL WEAPON

Two mad LA Cops go around killing people. One is mad, the other is black.


Lethal Weapon 2

Two mad LA Cops go around killing people. One is white, the other isn't.


Weasel Leopard 3

Two mad LA Cops go around killing people. One is ethnic, the other is caucasian.


Aretha Franklin 4

Two mad LA Cops go around killing people. One is an African American gentleman, the other is mentally challenged.

JAWS

A big fish goes around killing people.

The end.

Jaws 2

Two big fish go around killing people.

The end.

Jaws 3D

Three fish go around killing people. In 3-D.

The end.


Jaws 4 The Revenge

Four fish... oh God this is tedious, OK, you get the point. Actually, this has got to be the worst Jaws of them all, where the shark finally gets the hump with all his predecessors getting killed off by members of the same family, and goes around killing people.

The end.

POINT BREAK

Hollywood heart throb Keanu Reeves stars as Johnny U-bend, in this high octane adventure yarn following the exploits of a bank-robbing surfing dude and his all-american high on drugs buddies.

Johnny Nevada is assigned to tracking down a bunch of thrill seeking criminals, who steal money from banks dressed as perverts and occasionally go snorkelling. Several people are killed before Johnny Morris finds his man and pretends he can surf.

Having befriended the gang, Johnny shags the gang leaders wife behind his back in a bid to gain his trust and then lies to her about his background to get into her knickers. The poor girl is then kidnapped and then held then for ransom at knifepoint to lure Johnny Cash to the crime scene.

The gang leader, played by the late great Patrick Swayze, then pulls on the rubber mask of a well known USA President, and jumps out of a plane without a parachute, before blowing someone's head off with a shotgun, and it's up to Johnny Vegas to stop him!

Johnny ends up having a fist fight with Patrick Swayze on a beach in Australia and letting him go so that he can break his neck in a great big tsunami wave heading towards the shore at 500 mph.

A real happy feel good buddy movie.