E.T


Loveable alien meets school nerd in this charming tear-jerking romance from 1984.

Left behind by his pals after a jolly outing to Earth, E.T, a squat munchkin with big bulging eyes and an extendable neck, has to find a way home, having been stranded in a field.

He meets and befriends Elliott, a young lad with a squeaky voice, who hides him in his bedroom cupboard from the authorities before they can do experiments on him and chop him up and stick tubes up his arse. (E.T, not Elliott)

Elliott and his brother and sister feed E.T with dog food and beer, then put him in a dress and take him out trick or treating, and finally leave him dying in a river bed, after which E.T wishes the authorities had taken him.

However, E.T is a scientific genius, and constructs a crude device from Elliott's speak and spell to send a message to the stars asking for his pals to come back from space and rescue him from this shithole.

E.T fools everyone by pretending to be dead, but then he comes to life again and makes a run for it, with the government bad guys in hot pursuit. But Elliott and his school buddies plan to escape using their bikes and ride to safety with the help of some magic from E.T.

Finally, E.T's friends return to pick him up and much to E.T's relief, they sod off back to space.

A touching tale which will have you reaching for the hankies. Or the valium.