STAR WARS

Episode IV - A New Hope(after much persuasion from Algra’s fans)

This is the one that started it all off... ironically no-one knows why the series became such a cult as the actors themselves having read the script thought it was a load of crap.Pursued by a ruthless army of space nazis, the Rebel Alliance have just performed a daring hit and run raid on the Empire's secret weapon - The Breath Star, which can destroy a planet just by looking at it.

Alarming enough you may think, but according to the film's bad guy, Garth Vapour, the ability to destroy a planet is nothing next to death by strangulation without even touching someone, using only the power of the mind.

Princess Leia Orgasmic, the girl with the headphone hairdo, is number one on the emperor’s hit list, but cunningly hides the Breath Star plans in the head of a little droid and ejects them from the ship to keep the plans safe.

On the planet below, Puke Flystalker, a farmboy who yearns for some action in his life, meets the droids which leads him to a chance encounter with a pensioner who claims to be a ninja warrior and together they elope, with the Imperial army in hot pursuit.

They team up with hot-shot pilot, the sauvé and sophisticated Dan Mojo, whose best friend is an ape, and together they go on a daring rescue mission in search of the Princess.
Puke gets his lightsabre out and the pensioner gets his silver ball out and they embark on jedi training exercise number 69.
They land on the Breath Star, lured in by it’s aroma. Puke and Dan kill some storm Troopers and Garth Vapour can smell the pensioners B.O. so he runs off.
Puke, Dan and the ape find Leia and throw her into a rubbish compacting machine. Little did they know that there was an octopus in there with only one testicle. They all jump in and get cozy together with the one testicled octopuss.

Then they shoot more storm troopers and escape the breath star, blowing up some tight fighters on their way.
Puke meets his mate Priggs in some versions of the film but it matters not and priggs gets vapourised by Garth Vapour.
The breath star get’s blown up big style and they all live happily after with new shiny medals until the next two films and the previous three films. Oh yeah and the pensioner cops it and there is a farting robot called Artoo.

We love this film, great voting people.